03302023 Dear Diary,

I fear I am becoming too comfortable in life; opposed to the constant drive that is associated with drastic life change… Sleeping in has become increasingly easier for me to do. Working out has become increasingly harder for me to get my lazy *** up and do. This is a big problem because how can I ever expect to be America's Next Great Author if I don't wake up every day and write the words that need to be written. Or edit the words that need to be edited or query the agents that need to be queried. How can I ever expect my body to last me through 120 years of age if I don't exercise it and give it what it needs. I think the biggest problem that I'm having with my body right now is alcohol. I know it's bad for me, it's literally poisonous. It’s bad for my body and it's bad for my brain. So why do I drink it? I guess I drink it because I like being a little bit tipsy. It’s fun and helps me relax. It's all about balance when I drink alcohol because I absolutely hate being drunk. Sometimes I pour a glass of wine and sit it next to me just to have it there and I don't even drink it. I sit it there, so I stop thinking about it. I'm pretty sure I'm not an alcoholic because I count my drinks and I work very hard at not drinking too much. I also consider my alcohol usage quite often and take days, sometimes weeks, off. Usually just to prove to myself that I can be without it, which I absolutely can. So why am I not without it? Why do I drink it several times a week? Why do I let some of my important activities slip through the cracks because I was drinking alcohol? This morning I set my alarm for 5:00 AM but I didn't bother to get out of bed until 5:30. Last night I drank alcohol. I did not work out this morning nor did I write. I wish I had.