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04082023 Dear Diary,

I remember the day I woke up crying in my sleep. I was next to my now ex-husband back when he still loved me. I think it was 2021. It's the only time in my life I can ever remember just waking up randomly in the middle of the night crying. I cried uncontrollably and my loving husband held me through it. He asked me what was wrong, but I couldn't tell him. I was crying because of my dream, the dream that was too sad for me to write down in my dream journal. The dream I didn't want to remember. The dream I wish I didn't remember now. The dream that still haunts me. In the dream, I had worked my husband to the bone, I had stressed him out and worked him until he took his own life. It was the worst dream I ever had. And I often dream of zombies or apocalypses or military units descending upon the people and having to run and fight for my life. These are my regular dreams yet; this dream was still the worst by far. Is that what happened to my marriage? Did I work and stress my once loving husband so much that I killed his will to be a good man? Is that why he resulted in cheating, and all the horrors that are associated with that choice? Was that the only way out he could fathom?


P.S. word count: 3,740 of 50,000 day 8

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