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04212023 Dear Diary,

Happy 420. I’m flew into Atlanta yesterday to attend my niece’s wedding. I am so very happy for her; she found a great man. I have to admit tho, I feel a little salty about my almost wedding… My Ex and I planned a wedding to finally make it official on our fifth anniversary. We were going to get married on a boat in the ocean off the coast of Puerto Rico. Then my dress was going to transform into a bathing suit, and we were going to jump into the ocean holding hands as husband and wife. He made these plans with me while he was actively cheating on me. He proposed to me when he already knew he didn’t want to be with me anymore. Like, what kind of person does that? Why did he beg me back every time I wanted to leave him? I wanted to move out so many times. Why did he claim to love me so much and ask me to stay with him when he already knew for sure that he didn't want me anymore? He left me home paying his bills, watching his children, cooking home cooked meals, and cleaning our house while he was out cheating on me. So many times, he had sex with her in the daytime and had sex with me at night. Disgusting. Who can do something like that? Why did I deserve it? Seriously, why am I so foolish to fall for his lies? He used me for years and would be using me still had I not caught him on camera and kicked him out. He tried to lie even then, claiming that was the only time. Saying he was drunk and it was a mistake. It wasn't until i read the messages that I knew it was a full flegde relationship. Him and his mistress were "in love" whatever that means to a cheating asshole...

I’m sad, on a happy day.

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